Daycare Social-Emotional Development Guide 2026: Building Essential Skills

Social-emotional development may be the most important work happening at daycare—yet it's often the least visible to parents. These are the skills that help children manage emotions, build relationships, solve problems, and become healthy human beings. Quality daycare programs intentionally support this development every day.

This guide covers everything about social-emotional development at daycare in 2026: what SEL includes, how quality programs support it, age-appropriate expectations, and how to evaluate and reinforce these skills.

Table of Contents

• What Is Social-Emotional Development
• Why Daycare Matters for SEL
• What Quality Programs Do
• Development by Age
• Supporting SEL at Home
• When There Are Concerns
• Questions to Ask

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What Is Social-Emotional Development

The foundation skills.

Core Components

SEL includes: | Area | Skills | |------|--------| | Self-awareness | Recognizing emotions, strengths, needs | | Self-regulation | Managing emotions and behavior | | Social awareness | Empathy, perspective-taking | | Relationship skills | Communication, cooperation, friendship | | Responsible decision-making | Problem-solving, reflection |

Self-Awareness

Children learn to:

• Identify their emotions
• Recognize body sensations
• Understand their preferences
• Know their strengths
• Recognize their needs
• Develop self-identity

Self-Regulation

Children learn to:

• Manage big emotions
• Calm themselves down
• Wait and take turns
• Follow routines
• Control impulses
• Adapt to transitions

Social Awareness

Children learn to:

• Recognize others' feelings
• Show empathy
• Understand different perspectives
• Appreciate differences
• Care for others
• Respect others

Relationship Skills

Children learn to:

• Make friends
• Communicate needs
• Cooperate with others
• Resolve conflicts
• Share and take turns
• Show kindness

Why It Matters

SEL predicts:

• Academic success
• Career achievement
• Healthy relationships
• Mental health
• Life satisfaction
• Fewer behavior problems

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Why Daycare Matters for SEL

The unique opportunity.

Daily Practice Opportunities

Daycare provides:

• Peer interaction all day
• Sharing situations
• Conflict opportunities
• Group experiences
• Transition practice
• Relationship building

Adult Modeling

Teachers demonstrate:

• Emotion regulation
• Kind communication
• Problem-solving
• Empathy
• Conflict resolution
• Respectful behavior

Structured Support

Programs offer:

• Intentional SEL curriculum
• Coached conflict resolution
• Emotion vocabulary building
• Social skills practice
• Relationship facilitation
• Consistent expectations

The Group Setting Advantage

Unique to daycare:

• Multiple peer relationships
• Group dynamics experience
• Turn-taking necessity
• Sharing requirements
• Different perspectives
• Social navigation practice

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What Quality Programs Do

How good SEL looks.

Curriculum and Approach

Quality programs:

• Use intentional SEL curriculum
• Integrate SEL throughout day
• Make emotions visible
• Create inclusive community
• Value social learning
• Train teachers in SEL

Popular SEL Curricula

Common programs: | Curriculum | Focus | |------------|-------| | Second Step | Social skills, emotion management | | Conscious Discipline | Self-regulation, connection | | PATHS | Emotional competence | | Pyramid Model | Positive behavior support | | Incredible Years | Social-emotional skills |

Emotion-Rich Environment

You'll see:

• Feelings charts and vocabulary
• Books about emotions
• Calm-down spaces
• Emotion discussions
• Social stories
• Puppet play for practicing

Teacher Practices

Quality teachers:

• Name and validate emotions
• Coach conflict resolution
• Model regulation strategies
• Build warm relationships
• Use positive guidance
• Create predictable routines

Conflict Resolution Approach

Instead of:

• Forcing apologies
• Punishing without teaching
• Solving problems for children
• Ignoring conflicts
• Quick fixes

Quality programs:

• Help children solve together
• Teach problem-solving steps
• Guide communication
• Support both parties
• Focus on learning
• Build skills over time

Positive Guidance

Approaches include:

• Clear, positive expectations
• Natural consequences
• Redirection
• Logical consequences
• Problem-solving together
• Teaching, not punishment

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Development by Age

What to expect.

Infants (0-12 months)

Developmental focus:

• Attachment and trust
• Beginning communication
• Social smiling and interaction
• Caregiver bonding
• Emotional expression

Quality programs provide:

• Responsive caregiving
• Consistent caregivers
• Warm interactions
• Social engagement
• Secure base

Toddlers (1-3 years)

Developmental focus:

• Emerging independence
• Parallel play
• Beginning sharing (hard!)
• Big emotions
• Simple friendships

What to expect: | Behavior | It's Normal | |----------|-------------| | Not sharing well | Yes, until 3+ | | Big tantrums | Yes, still developing regulation | | Hitting/biting | Common, needs teaching | | Preferring certain children | Yes | | Separation anxiety | Very normal |

Quality programs:

• Help name emotions
• Redirect behavior
• Create simple routines
• Support independence
• Coach early social skills

Preschoolers (3-5 years)

Developmental focus:

• True friendships
• Cooperative play
• Better emotion regulation
• Empathy emergence
• Conflict resolution skills

Skills developing:

• Taking turns
• Sharing with support
• Recognizing feelings in others
• Using words for problems
• Understanding rules
• Making friends

Quality programs:

• Teach problem-solving steps
• Facilitate friendship
• Build emotion vocabulary
• Create caring community
• Practice perspective-taking

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Supporting SEL at Home

Reinforcing skills.

Building Emotion Vocabulary

At home:

• Name your own feelings
• Label child's emotions
• Read books about feelings
• Notice feelings in others
• Use feelings charts
• Talk about emotions often

Teaching Self-Regulation

Strategies:

• Model calming techniques
• Create calm-down space
• Practice deep breathing
• Use movement for regulation
• Maintain predictable routines
• Give words for feelings

Supporting Relationships

Help by:

• Facilitating playdates
• Discussing friendships
• Reading about friendship
• Talking about their friends
• Modeling kind relationships
• Working through conflicts together

Problem-Solving Practice

Steps to teach:

1. What's the problem?
2. How do you feel?
3. What are some solutions?
4. Try one!
5. Did it work?

Consistency with Daycare

Align by:

• Learning their SEL language
• Using same strategies
• Reinforcing skills
• Communicating about progress
• Celebrating growth
• Partnering on challenges

Books for SEL

Great choices:

• "The Color Monster" (emotions)
• "When Sophie Gets Angry" (anger)
• "Hands Are Not for Hitting" (self-control)
• "Enemy Pie" (friendship)
• "What Do You Do With a Problem?" (problem-solving)

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When There Are Concerns

Navigating challenges.

Normal vs. Concerning

Normal development:

• Some aggression in toddlers
• Separation anxiety phases
• Big emotions
• Difficulty sharing (young children)
• Some social struggles

May need attention:

• Persistent aggression
• No interest in others
• Extreme anxiety
• Significant regression
• Unable to be consoled
• No eye contact or connection

When to Talk to Daycare

Discuss if:

• Behavior changes at home
• Concerns about social skills
• Child talks about problems
• You notice something different
• Daycare raises concerns

When to Seek Help

Consider evaluation if:

• Significant social differences
• Persistent emotional struggles
• Behavior not improving
• Development seems delayed
• Your instinct says something's off

Working Together

Partner with daycare:

• Share observations
• Request updates
• Align strategies
• Celebrate progress
• Address concerns together
• Involve specialists if needed

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Questions to Ask

About SEL Approach

1. "How do you support social-emotional development?"
2. "Do you use a specific SEL curriculum?"
3. "How do teachers handle conflicts between children?"
4. "What's your approach to challenging behaviors?"
5. "How do you build community in the classroom?"

About Your Child

1. "How does my child interact with others?"
2. "Does my child have friends?"
3. "How does my child handle emotions?"
4. "What social skills are they working on?"
5. "Any concerns about development?"

About Teacher Practices

1. "How do you teach emotion vocabulary?"
2. "What happens during conflicts?"
3. "How do you help children calm down?"
4. "Do you use time-outs?"
5. "How do you handle aggression?"

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SEL Quality Checklist

Environment

• [ ] Feelings vocabulary visible
• [ ] Calm-down space available
• [ ] Books about emotions
• [ ] Inclusive community feel
• [ ] Warm, welcoming atmosphere

Teacher Practices

• [ ] Names and validates emotions
• [ ] Uses positive guidance
• [ ] Coaches conflict resolution
• [ ] Builds relationships with each child
• [ ] Models regulation strategies
• [ ] Never shames or humiliates

Program Approach

• [ ] SEL curriculum or approach
• [ ] Community building activities
• [ ] Social skills teaching
• [ ] Partnerships with families
• [ ] Focus on teaching, not punishment

Communication

• [ ] Regular updates on social development
• [ ] Discusses concerns proactively
• [ ] Partners on strategies
• [ ] Celebrates growth
• [ ] Seeks parent input

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What NOT to See

Red Flags

Concerning practices:

• Shaming children
• Public punishment
• Forced apologies without teaching
• Ignoring emotions
• Harsh discipline
• Cold environment
• Time-outs as primary response
• No emotion vocabulary

Questions to Ask Yourself

After visiting:

• Did it feel warm and caring?
• Were teachers kind and patient?
• How were conflicts handled?
• Did children seem happy?
• Was there connection between children and adults?

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Resources

• Find Quality Daycare Near You
• Daycare Behavior & Biting Guide
• Daycare Quality Indicators
• Toddler Daycare Guide

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Last updated: December 2025