Social-Emotional Learning at Daycare Guide 2026: Building Emotional Intelligence

Social-emotional learning (SEL) is one of the most important things happening at daycare. Long before academic skills, children learn to identify emotions, manage feelings, build relationships, and navigate social situations. How your daycare approaches SEL shapes your child's emotional intelligence for life.

This guide covers everything about social-emotional learning at daycare in 2026: what SEL looks like in practice, how to evaluate programs, and supporting emotional development at home.

Table of Contents

• What Is Social-Emotional Learning
• Why SEL Matters
• SEL at Different Ages
• How Quality Daycares Teach SEL
• Evaluating SEL Programs
• Supporting SEL at Home
• Common SEL Challenges

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What Is Social-Emotional Learning

Understanding the foundations.

The Five SEL Competencies

Core areas (CASEL framework):

| Competency | What It Means | |------------|---------------| | Self-awareness | Recognizing emotions, strengths, values | | Self-management | Regulating emotions, controlling impulses | | Social awareness | Understanding others, empathy | | Relationship skills | Communication, cooperation, conflict resolution | | Responsible decision-making | Making good choices |

What SEL Looks Like for Young Children

Developmentally appropriate:

• Naming feelings
• Calming down when upset
• Taking turns
• Using words instead of hitting
• Showing empathy
• Making friends
• Following rules
• Handling frustration

SEL vs Academic Learning

Both matter, but:

• SEL is foundation for all learning
• Emotional regulation enables focus
• Social skills enable collaboration
• Self-awareness builds confidence
• Research shows SEL predicts success

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Why SEL Matters

The impact of emotional intelligence.

Research on SEL

Studies show children with strong SEL:

• Perform better academically
• Have better mental health
• Build stronger relationships
• Have fewer behavior problems
• Are more successful as adults

Long-Term Benefits

SEL skills predict:

• High school graduation
• College enrollment
• Stable employment
• Positive relationships
• Mental wellness
• Reduced substance abuse

Why Early Childhood Matters

The early years are critical:

• Brain is most plastic
• Emotional patterns form
• Social skills develop
• Foundation is laid
• Intervention is most effective

SEL and School Readiness

True kindergarten readiness includes:

• Emotional regulation
• Following directions
• Getting along with others
• Managing frustration
• Expressing needs
• Not just ABCs and 123s

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SEL at Different Ages

Developmentally appropriate expectations.

Infants (0-12 months)

Focus areas:

• Attachment and trust
• Emotional co-regulation with caregivers
• Beginning to read facial expressions
• Comfort-seeking behaviors

What to look for:

• Responsive caregiving
• Attunement to infant cues
• Calm, consistent environment
• Physical comfort and closeness

Toddlers (1-3 years)

Focus areas:

• Naming basic emotions (happy, sad, mad)
• Beginning self-regulation (with help)
• Parallel play
• Simple turn-taking
• Managing transitions

What to look for:

• Teachers naming emotions
• Help with calming down
• Teaching "use your words"
• Patience with tantrums
• Structured transitions

Preschoolers (3-5 years)

Focus areas:

• Expanded emotion vocabulary
• Self-regulation strategies
• Cooperative play
• Conflict resolution
• Empathy development
• Friendship skills

What to look for:

• Emotion coaching
• Problem-solving support
• Friendship facilitation
• Conflict mediation
• SEL curriculum

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How Quality Daycares Teach SEL

What effective programs do.

Relationship-Based Care

Foundation of SEL:

• Warm, responsive teachers
• Consistent caregivers
• Secure attachment
• Trust building
• Feeling valued

Emotion Coaching

Teachers who:

• Label emotions ("You seem frustrated")
• Validate feelings ("It's hard to wait")
• Teach coping strategies ("Let's take breaths")
• Model emotional expression
• Create safe emotional space

Explicit Teaching

Structured SEL activities:

• Books about emotions
• Feeling faces activities
• Puppet shows about social situations
• Role-playing scenarios
• Calm-down corner
• Breathing exercises

Environmental Support

Space designed for SEL:

• Calm-down corner/peace area
• Emotion posters
• Comfort items available
• Predictable routines
• Clear expectations
• Natural consequences

Conflict Resolution

Teaching children to:

• Use words to express needs
• Listen to each other
• Find solutions together
• Accept compromise
• Seek adult help appropriately

SEL Curricula

Common programs: | Curriculum | Focus | |------------|-------| | Second Step | Comprehensive SEL | | Conscious Discipline | Brain-based approach | | PATHS | Problem-solving focus | | Pyramid Model | Tiered intervention | | Incredible Years | Teacher training |

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Evaluating SEL Programs

What to look for.

Questions to Ask

About approach:

1. "How do you support social-emotional development?"
2. "Do you use a specific SEL curriculum?"
3. "How do you help children manage big emotions?"
4. "How do you handle conflicts between children?"
5. "What's your approach to discipline?"

About practice: 6. "Can you give me an example of how you'd handle a tantrum?" 7. "How do you help shy children make friends?" 8. "What do you do when children are aggressive?" 9. "How do you teach emotional vocabulary?"

What to Observe

During your visit:

• How do teachers respond to upset children?
• Do they use emotion words?
• How are conflicts handled?
• Is there a calm-down space?
• Do children seem emotionally secure?
• How are transitions managed?

Green Flags

Positive indicators:

• Teachers at children's level
• Emotion words used frequently
• Calm, warm responses to distress
• Children comforted when upset
• Conflicts mediated thoughtfully
• Calm-down tools available
• Positive guidance used

Red Flags

Concerning signs:

• Children's emotions dismissed
• Punitive response to feelings
• Timeouts as primary discipline
• Children shamed for emotions
• Conflicts ignored or harshly handled
• Overwhelming environment
• Staff seem stressed/overwhelmed

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Supporting SEL at Home

Extending learning beyond daycare.

Emotion Coaching at Home

Practice:

• Name your child's emotions
• Validate feelings
• Help them calm down
• Problem-solve together
• Model emotional expression

Scripts:

• "You look really angry. It's hard when..."
• "I can see you're sad. That makes sense because..."
• "Let's take some deep breaths together"
• "What could we try?"

Building Emotional Vocabulary

Activities:

• Read books about feelings
• Name emotions in yourself
• Talk about characters' feelings
• Use emotion charts
• Play feelings games

Teaching Regulation Strategies

Age-appropriate strategies:

• Deep breathing
• Counting to 10
• Taking a break
• Getting a hug
• Using a calm-down kit
• Movement breaks

Modeling Matters

Show your child:

• How you handle frustration
• Naming your own emotions
• Healthy coping strategies
• Apologizing and repairing
• Managing stress

Reinforcing Daycare Learning

Coordinate with daycare:

• Ask what SEL strategies they use
• Use same language at home
• Continue activities
• Reinforce skills taught
• Share what works at home

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Common SEL Challenges

Normal struggles and when to worry.

Normal Developmental Challenges

Expected at certain ages:

• Toddler tantrums
• Not sharing (toddlers)
• Difficulty with transitions
• Separation anxiety
• Testing limits
• Big emotions

When to Be Concerned

Consider support if:

• Aggression is frequent and severe
• No improvement over time
• Extreme anxiety or withdrawal
• Unable to participate in group
• Consistent peer rejection
• Regression in skills
• Daycare expressing ongoing concerns

Getting Help

Resources:

• Talk to daycare
• Consult pediatrician
• Early intervention services
• Child psychologist
• Play therapy
• Occupational therapy (for regulation)

Working with Daycare

Partner on challenges:

• Share observations
• Ask about strategies
• Implement consistently
• Communicate regularly
• Seek help together if needed

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SEL Evaluation Checklist

What Daycare Should Have

• [ ] Warm, responsive teachers
• [ ] Emotion coaching observed
• [ ] Calm-down space available
• [ ] Positive discipline approach
• [ ] SEL activities/curriculum
• [ ] Conflict resolution support
• [ ] Predictable routines

Questions Answered

• [ ] SEL approach explained
• [ ] Discipline philosophy shared
• [ ] Emotion handling described
• [ ] Conflict resolution explained
• [ ] Examples provided

Home Support

• [ ] Using emotion vocabulary
• [ ] Modeling regulation
• [ ] Teaching coping strategies
• [ ] Reinforcing daycare learning
• [ ] Coordinating with teachers

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Resources

• Find Quality Daycare Near You
• Daycare Discipline Policies Guide
• Daycare Separation Anxiety Guide
• Toddler Daycare Guide

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Last updated: December 2025