Daycare Biting & Behavior Guide 2026: When Your Child Bites or Gets Bitten

Few daycare incidents upset parents more than biting—whether your child was bitten or did the biting. Biting is incredibly common in toddler settings, yet it feels alarming and raises questions about daycare quality, your child's safety, and what to do about it.

This guide covers everything about biting and behavior at daycare in 2026: why it happens, what good daycares do, your rights as a parent, and how to handle it from both sides.

Table of Contents

• Understanding Why Children Bite
• Normal vs Concerning Behavior
• What Good Daycares Do
• If Your Child Was Bitten
• If Your Child Is Biting
• Working with Your Daycare
• When to Be Concerned

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Understanding Why Children Bite

The developmental context.

Why Biting Happens

Common reasons:

• Teething pain (infants)
• Lack of language skills
• Frustration and overwhelm
• Seeking attention
• Exploring (oral phase)
• Defending space or toys
• Imitating others
• Sensory seeking

Developmental Perspective

Key understanding:

• Biting peaks around 12-24 months
• Corresponds with limited language
• Children can't express feelings with words
• Impulsive—not planned aggression
• Typically phase that passes

It's Not About "Bad" Kids

Important context:

• Biters aren't "bad" children
• Victims aren't "targeted"
• It's developmentally normal
• Most children stop with maturity
• Environment plays a role

The Daycare Factor

Group settings increase biting because:

• More peer interactions
• Competition for toys/attention
• Close proximity
• Stimulating environment
• Tiredness and hunger
• Less one-on-one supervision

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Normal vs Concerning Behavior

When to worry.

Normal Toddler Behavior

Expected:

• Occasional biting incidents
• Biting decreases with language development
• Responds to redirection
• No pattern of aggression
• Limited to specific triggers

When to Be More Concerned

Watch for:

• Frequent, repeated biting
• Biting continues past age 3
• No improvement with intervention
• Targeting specific children
• Accompanied by other aggression
• Escalating intensity

Developmental Red Flags

Seek evaluation if:

• Biting persists past preschool age
• Child shows no remorse
• Part of broader aggression pattern
• Developmental delays present
• Not responding to strategies
• Quality of life affected

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What Good Daycares Do

Quality response to biting.

Immediate Response

When biting occurs:

1. Separate children calmly
2. Comfort the bitten child first
3. Provide first aid
4. Calmly redirect biter
5. Document incident
6. Notify both families

Prevention Strategies

Quality programs:

• Adequate supervision
• Appropriate ratios
• Anticipate triggers
• Provide sensory outlets
• Teach emotional vocabulary
• Reduce frustration sources
• Shadow children who bite

Environmental Modifications

Reduce biting by:

• Enough toys for sharing
• Defined play spaces
• Calm, organized environment
• Adequate space per child
• Consistent routines
• Managing transitions

Working with Biters

Good approaches:

• Identify triggers
• Teach alternatives ("Use words")
• Provide teething outlets
• Shadow during high-risk times
• Positive reinforcement
• Family partnership

What Not to Do

Never acceptable:

• Biting back
• Punishing harshly
• Shaming the child
• Labeling as "the biter"
• Ignoring the pattern
• Blaming parents

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If Your Child Was Bitten

For parents of bitten children.

What You Should Know

Daycare should tell you:

• When it happened
• What injury occurred
• First aid provided
• General circumstances
• Their response
• Prevention plan

They typically won't tell you:

• Who bit your child
• That child's name
• Specific details about other family

What to Ask

Questions for daycare:

1. "What happened before the bite?"
2. "How are you preventing future incidents?"
3. "Is this a pattern?"
4. "What's your biting policy?"
5. "Should I be concerned about safety?"

Managing Your Emotions

It's normal to feel:

• Upset and protective
• Angry at daycare
• Worried about safety
• Frustrated
• Like wanting to know who

Try to remember:

• Biting is developmentally normal
• Your child will be okay
• Daycare likely did their best
• The other family is struggling too

When to Push Back

If:

• Same child biting repeatedly
• No action being taken
• Your child is distressed
• Pattern seems dangerous
• Communication is poor

Your Rights

You can:

• Request conference
• Ask about prevention plan
• Expect documentation
• Request incident reports
• Know the policy
• Consider changing care if needed

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If Your Child Is Biting

For parents of children who bite.

What to Expect

Daycare should:

• Communicate with you
• Partner on strategies
• Not shame your child
• Develop action plan
• Give reasonable time
• Work with you constructively

They may:

• Request meeting
• Implement shadow supervision
• Try various interventions
• Ask about strategies at home

Working Together

Collaborate by:

• Sharing home observations
• Implementing consistent strategies
• Communicating openly
• Being receptive to feedback
• Following through at home
• Giving it time

Home Strategies

What helps:

• Teach feeling words
• Model gentle behavior
• Role-play scenarios
• Read books about feelings
• Provide sensory outlets
• Ensure adequate sleep
• Don't bite back

Managing the Emotional Weight

As parent of biter:

• You're not a bad parent
• Your child isn't "bad"
• This phase typically passes
• You're doing the right things
• Other parents have been here

Serious Consequences

Be aware:

• Some daycares have bite policies
• Multiple incidents may trigger meetings
• In rare cases, dismissal is possible
• This is usually last resort
• Documentation typically required

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Working with Your Daycare

Partnership approach.

Communication is Key

From both sides:

• Regular updates
• Share strategies
• Report triggers observed
• Celebrate progress
• Problem-solve together

What to Ask for

Reasonable requests:

• Incident reports
• Prevention plan
• Regular check-ins
• Consistency in approach
• Updates on progress

Understanding Their Limits

Daycares can't:

• Guarantee no biting
• Predict every incident
• Control all behavior
• Share other family info
• Use harsh punishment

When Concerns Persist

If not improving:

1. Request meeting with director
2. Ask for specific action plan
3. Document concerns
4. Set timeline for improvement
5. Consider options

Knowing Your Policy

Ask about:

• Biting policy
• Number of incidents before action
• Dismissal criteria
• Appeal process
• Documentation provided

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When to Be Concerned

More serious situations.

About the Daycare

Red flags:

• Dismissive about incidents
• No prevention efforts
• Blame without solutions
• Inadequate supervision
• Pattern of injuries
• Poor communication

About Your Child (Biter)

Seek help if:

• Biting persists past age 3
• Part of larger aggression pattern
• Not responding to interventions
• Shows no concern for others
• Developmental concerns present

About Your Child (Victim)

Watch for:

• Fear of daycare
• Anxiety or regression
• Repeated targeting
• Injuries beyond normal
• Change in behavior

Getting Professional Help

When to seek evaluation:

• Persistent biting after age 3
• Developmental concerns
• Not responding to strategies
• Part of behavioral pattern
• Significant impact on functioning

Who can help:

• Pediatrician
• Child psychologist
• Early intervention
• Behavioral specialist
• Occupational therapist

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Questions to Ask Daycare

About Policy

1. "What is your biting policy?"
2. "What happens after multiple incidents?"
3. "At what point would a child be dismissed?"
4. "How do you communicate about incidents?"

About Prevention

1. "What do you do to prevent biting?"
2. "How do you handle the child who bit?"
3. "How do you comfort the child who was bitten?"
4. "What strategies do you use with biters?"

About Communication

1. "Will I be notified same day?"
2. "What information will you share?"
3. "How will you partner with us?"
4. "Who should I talk to about concerns?"

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Biting Response Checklist

If Your Child Was Bitten

• [ ] Get information about incident
• [ ] Ask about first aid given
• [ ] Learn about prevention plan
• [ ] Monitor wound at home
• [ ] Comfort your child
• [ ] Communicate calmly with daycare

If Your Child Is Biting

• [ ] Partner with daycare on plan
• [ ] Implement home strategies
• [ ] Ensure adequate sleep
• [ ] Teach feeling words
• [ ] Provide sensory outlets
• [ ] Give it time
• [ ] Seek help if not improving

Evaluating Daycare Response

• [ ] Communicated promptly
• [ ] Took incident seriously
• [ ] Has prevention strategies
• [ ] Partners with families
• [ ] Uses appropriate discipline
• [ ] Documents incidents

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Resources

• Find Quality Daycare Near You
• Daycare Discipline Policies Guide
• Social-Emotional Learning Guide
• Toddler Daycare Guide

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Last updated: December 2025