Daycare Biting Guide 2026: When Your Child Bites or Gets Bitten

Getting the call that your child was bitten at daycare—or that your child bit another child—is stressful. Biting is one of the most common and distressing behaviors in toddler group care, but it's also developmentally normal and manageable.

This guide covers everything about biting at daycare in 2026: why it happens, how daycares handle it, and what you can do whether your child is the biter or the bitten.

Table of Contents

• Understanding Biting Behavior
• How Daycares Handle Biting
• If Your Child Is Bitten
• If Your Child Is the Biter
• Working with Your Daycare
• When to Be Concerned
• Prevention Strategies

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Understanding Biting Behavior

Why toddlers bite.

Why Do Toddlers Bite?

Developmental reasons:

• Exploring the world (mouths are tools)
• Limited language skills
• Teething discomfort
• Overstimulation
• Frustration they can't express
• Seeking attention
• Self-defense
• Cause and effect experimentation

Important to know:

• Biting is developmentally normal for ages 1-3
• It's NOT a sign of a "bad" child
• It's NOT a sign of "bad" parenting
• It's usually a phase that passes

Peak Biting Ages

| Age | Why Common | |-----|------------| | 12-18 months | Teething, exploration, no words | | 18-24 months | Frustration, limited communication | | 24-36 months | Social conflicts, emotional regulation | | 3+ years | Should be decreasing; investigate if persistent |

Common Triggers

Environmental:

• Crowded spaces
• Competition for toys
• Transition times
• Before nap/meals (tired/hungry)
• Chaotic or overstimulating settings

Emotional:

• Frustration
• Anger
• Excitement
• Fear or anxiety
• Feeling threatened
• Wanting connection

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How Daycares Handle Biting

Typical policies and approaches.

Standard Biting Policies

Immediate response:

1. Separate the children
2. Comfort the bitten child first
3. Clean and treat the bite
4. Briefly address the biter
5. Document the incident
6. Notify both families

What Daycares DO

Effective responses:

• Stay calm and neutral
• Provide brief, clear message: "No biting. Biting hurts."
• Redirect the biter
• Give attention to victim
• Document and track patterns
• Implement prevention strategies

What Daycares SHOULDN'T Do

Ineffective/harmful:

• Bite the child back (never acceptable)
• Shame or humiliate
• Isolate for extended periods
• Yell or show anger
• Force apology
• Over-punish

Confidentiality Policies

Standard practice:

• Names of other children not shared
• You won't be told who bit your child
• You won't be told who your child bit
• Protects all families
• Focuses on behavior, not labels

Expulsion for Biting

When this happens:

• Usually after multiple incidents
• When other strategies fail
• If pattern persists over months
• If child poses ongoing safety risk

Questions if facing this:

• What strategies have been tried?
• How long has this been happening?
• What support can we add?
• Is there a transition plan?

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If Your Child Is Bitten

How to respond.

Immediate Response

When you're notified:

• Stay calm
• Ask what happened
• Ask about treatment given
• Check on your child
• Don't demand to know who did it

Medical Considerations

Most bites:

• Break the skin surface
• Clean with soap and water
• Apply ice for swelling
• Monitor for infection

Seek medical attention if:

• Deep bite that breaks skin
• Excessive bleeding
• Signs of infection (redness, swelling, warmth)
• Bite to face or sensitive area
• Tetanus concerns (rare)

Emotional Response

For your child:

• Acknowledge their feelings: "That must have hurt"
• Reassure them: "You're safe now"
• Don't dwell on it excessively
• Watch for fear of daycare

For yourself:

• Feel your feelings (it's upsetting!)
• Remember biting is normal
• Don't blame yourself or the daycare
• Focus on prevention going forward

Questions to Ask Daycare

1. "What happened before the bite?"
2. "How did you respond?"
3. "What are you doing to prevent future incidents?"
4. "Has this been happening more frequently?"
5. "How can we work together?"

What NOT to Do

• Demand to know the biter's name
• Confront the other family
• Threaten the daycare
• Tell your child to bite back
• Pull your child immediately (usually)

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If Your Child Is the Biter

How to respond.

Your Feelings Are Normal

You might feel:

• Embarrassed
• Guilty
• Defensive
• Worried about your child
• Frustrated
• Confused

Remember:

• Biting is developmentally normal
• It doesn't mean you're a bad parent
• Your child isn't "bad"
• You can work through this

Working with Daycare

Be a partner:

• Don't be defensive
• Ask questions about context
• Share what works at home
• Be open to strategies
• Stay in regular communication

Questions to ask:

1. "When is the biting happening?"
2. "What seems to trigger it?"
3. "What strategies are you using?"
4. "What can I do at home?"
5. "How can we track progress?"

Strategies at Home

Language development:

• Build vocabulary for emotions
• Practice words like "stop," "mine," "help"
• Role-play social situations
• Read books about feelings

Emotional regulation:

• Validate frustration
• Teach coping strategies
• Practice calm-down techniques
• Model appropriate responses

What to say:

• "We don't bite. Biting hurts people."
• "When you're mad, use your words."
• "Say 'stop' if you don't like something."

What NOT to Do

• Don't bite your child to "show them how it feels"
• Don't punish harshly at home for daycare incidents
• Don't label your child as "the biter"
• Don't expect immediate change
• Don't avoid the topic entirely

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Working with Your Daycare

Collaboration is key.

Open Communication

From daycare:

• Incident reports
• Pattern observations
• Strategies being used
• Progress updates

From you:

• Home behavior changes
• What's working
• Stressors or changes at home
• Questions and concerns

Questions About Their Approach

1. "What's your biting policy?"
2. "How do you prevent biting?"
3. "What happens after a bite?"
4. "How do you track patterns?"
5. "When do you involve parents?"
6. "What support do you need from me?"

If You're Unhappy with Response

Steps to take:

1. Express concerns calmly
2. Ask for meeting with director
3. Request specific changes
4. Document concerns
5. Give time for improvement
6. Consider alternatives if needed

Signs of Good Handling

Green flags:

• Calm, matter-of-fact approach
• Focus on prevention
• Regular communication
• No shaming of children
• Willingness to partner with parents

Signs of Poor Handling

Red flags:

• Blaming child or parents
• No prevention strategies
• Ignoring or dismissing concerns
• Shaming children
• No communication about incidents

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When to Be Concerned

Beyond normal biting.

Normal vs. Concerning Biting

Normal:

• Ages 1-3
• Response to frustration or lack of language
• Occasional incidents
• Responds to intervention
• Decreases over time

Potentially concerning:

• Frequent (multiple times per day)
• After age 3 with no decrease
• Doesn't respond to intervention
• Part of overall aggressive pattern
• Seems intentional to hurt
• Accompanied by other behavioral concerns

When to Seek Professional Help

Consider evaluation if:

• Biting continues past age 3
• Very frequent despite interventions
• Part of other aggressive behaviors
• Sudden onset after previous good behavior
• Your child seems distressed
• Development concerns in other areas

Who can help:

• Pediatrician
• Child psychologist
• Behavioral specialist
• Early intervention services

Other Factors to Consider

Rule out:

• Sensory processing issues
• Communication delays
• Developmental concerns
• Stress or trauma
• Significant life changes

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Prevention Strategies

Reducing biting incidents.

What Daycares Can Do

Environment:

• Reduce crowding
• Adequate toys to reduce conflict
• Calm, organized spaces
• Low teacher-to-child ratios
• Predictable routines

Supervision:

• Watch for triggers
• Intervene before biting
• Shadow known biters
• Monitor high-risk times

Teaching:

• Social-emotional curriculum
• Emotion vocabulary
• Conflict resolution skills
• Appropriate alternatives

What Parents Can Do

Build skills:

• Practice using words
• Role-play social situations
• Read books about feelings
• Model calm responses

Support needs:

• Ensure adequate sleep
• Regular meals and snacks
• Stress reduction
• Teething relief if applicable

Communication:

• Stay in touch with daycare
• Share what's happening at home
• Report changes or stressors
• Celebrate progress

Teaching Alternatives to Biting

For toddlers:

• "Use your words"
• "Say 'stop'"
• "Get a teacher"
• "Walk away"
• "Squeeze this toy instead"

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Biting Checklist

If Your Child Is Bitten

• [ ] Stay calm
• [ ] Get incident details
• [ ] Check injury and treat appropriately
• [ ] Comfort your child
• [ ] Ask about prevention measures
• [ ] Monitor for infection
• [ ] Watch for fear or anxiety

If Your Child Is the Biter

• [ ] Don't panic or be defensive
• [ ] Understand the context
• [ ] Partner with daycare on strategies
• [ ] Work on language at home
• [ ] Teach alternatives to biting
• [ ] Be patient with progress
• [ ] Seek help if it persists

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Resources

• Find Quality Daycare Near You
• Daycare Behavior Policies Guide
• Toddler Development Guide
• Questions to Ask Daycare Providers

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Last updated: December 2025