First Day of Daycare: What to Expect and How to Prepare (Complete 2025 Guide)

The first day of daycare is a milestone—for your child and for you. Whether you're returning to work after parental leave, starting a new job, or simply ready for your child to have structured social experiences, this transition marks a significant moment in your family's journey.

It's completely normal to feel a mix of excitement, anxiety, and even guilt. Many parents describe the first drop-off as one of the hardest moments of early parenthood. But with proper preparation and realistic expectations, you can make this transition as smooth as possible for everyone.

Understanding the Transition Process

Why This Matters for Development

Starting daycare isn't just about logistics—it's a developmental milestone. Your child is learning:

• That they can form attachments beyond parents
• That separations are temporary (you always come back)
• How to navigate social relationships
• Independence and self-regulation

Research shows children who successfully transition to group care often develop stronger social skills and resilience. The adjustment period, while sometimes difficult, builds important capabilities.

Typical Adjustment Timelines

| Child's Age | Typical Adjustment Period | |-------------|--------------------------| | Infants (0-12 months) | 1-3 weeks | | Toddlers (1-2 years) | 2-4 weeks | | Preschoolers (3-4 years) | 1-3 weeks | | Older children (4-5 years) | 1-2 weeks |

Toddlers often have the hardest time because they're old enough to understand you're leaving but not yet equipped with the language to process it. This is completely normal.

---

Essential First Day Supplies

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Prepare for the first day with these must-have items:

• Waterproof Daycare Labels - Label bottles, sippy cups, pacifiers, and all clothing before day one
• Daycare Diaper Bag Backpack - Organized bag with compartments for daily supplies
• Dr. Brown's Anti-Colic Bottles - Trusted bottles for infant daycare feeding
• Muslin Swaddle Blankets - Comfort items that help children transition
• Portable Diaper Caddy - Keep supplies organized for quick morning prep

Before the First Day: Preparation Strategies

2-4 Weeks Before: Mental Preparation

For your child:

• Read age-appropriate books about daycare or preschool
• Talk positively about the upcoming experience
• If possible, drive by the daycare and point it out
• Avoid excessive buildup—keep it matter-of-fact

Recommended books:

• "Llama Llama Misses Mama" by Anna Dewdney
• "The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn
• "First Day Jitters" by Julie Danneberg
• "Maisy Goes to Nursery" by Lucy Cousins

For yourself:

• Process your own emotions separately from your child
• Connect with other parents who've been through this
• Review your daycare's policies and procedures
• Plan logistics (morning routine, transportation, pickup person)

1-2 Weeks Before: Transition Visits

Most quality daycares offer transition visits before the official start date. Take full advantage of these:

Visit Structure:

| Visit | Duration | Your Role | |-------|----------|-----------| | Visit 1 | 30-60 minutes | Tour with child, explore together, meet teachers | | Visit 2 | 45-60 minutes | Stay while child plays, gradually step back | | Visit 3 | 30-60 minutes | Leave briefly (15-30 min), return before distress | | Visit 4 (optional) | Full morning | Practice full drop-off and pickup routine |

What to do during visits:

• Let your child explore at their own pace
• Introduce them to the teachers by name
• Show them where their cubby is
• Point out the bathroom, play areas, and outdoor space
• Stay calm and positive, even if your child is hesitant

The Week Before: Practical Preparation

Gather and label supplies:

• Extra clothes (2-3 complete outfits)
• Diapers and wipes if needed
• Crib sheets (for infant rooms)
• Comfort item (small blanket, stuffed animal if allowed)
• Water bottle or sippy cup
• Sunscreen (if required)
• Any required medications with documentation

Label everything with your child's name—use permanent markers or labels that survive washing.

Complete paperwork:

• Emergency contact forms
• Medical information
• Authorized pickup list
• Photo release (if applicable)
• Allergy and dietary forms

Adjust schedules:

• Start the new morning routine before the first day
• Practice earlier wake-up times
• Shift meal times if necessary
• Adjust bedtime to ensure adequate sleep

The Night Before

Practical steps:

• Pack the daycare bag completely
• Lay out clothes for your child
• Prepare a quick breakfast
• Set alarms with extra buffer time
• Review drop-off logistics (parking, entrance, who to find)

Emotional preparation:

• Visualize a smooth drop-off
• Remind yourself that tears are normal
• Plan something for after drop-off (work task, coffee with a friend)
• Get adequate sleep yourself

The First Morning: A Step-by-Step Guide

Morning Routine Tips

Do:

• Wake up 30+ minutes earlier than you think you need
• Stay calm and unhurried
• Follow the same routine you've practiced
• Eat a good breakfast (both of you)
• Talk positively about the day ahead
• Let them bring a comfort item if allowed

Don't:

• Rush frantically
• Express your own anxiety
• Make big promises ("I'll pick you up early!")
• Over-explain or justify the situation
• Introduce new clothes or food on this day

The Drop-Off: What Actually Works

The golden rule: Keep it short, confident, and loving.

Step-by-step process:

1. Arrive and orient (5 minutes)

   • Sign in
   • Put belongings in cubby
   • Walk to the classroom together

2. Connect with teacher (2 minutes)

   • Share any relevant information (sleep, mood)
   • Let the teacher engage your child

3. Create a goodbye ritual (1-2 minutes)

   • Give a special hug or kiss
   • Use a consistent phrase: "I love you. I'll see you after snack time."
   • Wave through the window if possible

4. Leave confidently

   • Walk out, even if there are tears
   • Resist the urge to come back "just to check"
   • Trust the teachers to comfort your child

What NOT to do:

• Don't sneak away — This breaks trust. Your child needs to see you leave and return.
• Don't linger — Extended goodbyes increase anxiety for everyone.
• Don't come back — If you return after leaving, your child learns that crying brings you back.
• Don't show distress — Children are perceptive. Your anxiety becomes theirs.

When There Are Tears

Most children cry at drop-off in the beginning. This is normal and healthy. Crying means:

• They have a secure attachment to you
• They're expressing big emotions appropriately
• They understand that this is a change

It does NOT mean:

• They hate daycare
• You made the wrong choice
• They're traumatized
• The teachers are inadequate

What typically happens after you leave:

• 80% of children calm down within 5-10 minutes
• Teachers redirect children to engaging activities
• The transition from "crying" to "playing" is often rapid
• By pickup time, most children are happy and engaged

Pro tip: Ask the daycare to text you a photo or update 20-30 minutes after drop-off. Seeing your child happily playing provides enormous relief.

The First Pickup: Equally Important

What to Expect

When you return:

• Your child may be happier to see you than you've ever experienced
• They might cry upon seeing you (releasing held emotions)
• They could be clingy and overwhelmed
• Some children are so engaged they don't want to leave

All of these reactions are normal.

Pickup Best Practices

1. Give full attention — Put away your phone. This isn't the time to multitask.

2. Reconnect physically — Hugs, eye contact, getting on their level.

3. Talk to teachers — Ask specific questions:

   • How did the transition go after I left?
   • Did they eat? Nap?
   • Any moments of joy or struggle?
   • What activities did they engage with?

4. Transition gradually — Don't rush out. Let your child show you their space if they want.

5. Expect exhaustion — New environments are mentally and emotionally draining. Plan a low-key evening.

What Your Child Might Experience

Week One: The Honeymoon and Reality

Days 1-2: Often surprisingly smooth. Everything is new and exciting.

Days 3-5: Reality sets in. Your child realizes this is ongoing. Increased protest is common.

What you might see:

• Tears at drop-off (intensifying by day 3-4)
• Exhaustion and irritability at home
• Changes in appetite (more or less hungry)
• Sleep disruption (naps and nighttime)
• Clinginess at home
• Regression in some skills (potty accidents, thumb-sucking)

Weeks Two and Three: The Adjustment

Most children turn a corner during weeks 2-3. You may notice:

• Drop-off tears becoming shorter
• Mentioning teacher names or friends
• Asking about daycare in positive ways
• More settled behavior at home

Week Four and Beyond: The New Normal

By week four, most children:

• Walk into daycare willingly (maybe even eagerly)
• Have established favorite teachers and activities
• Talk about friends by name
• Show excitement about going

Important: If significant distress continues past 4-6 weeks, consult with teachers about what might be happening and whether additional strategies are needed.

Age-Specific Guidance

Infants (0-12 Months)

Babies are surprisingly adaptable, but they need consistency:

Before starting:

• Share detailed information about feeding, sleeping, and comfort preferences
• Bring items that smell like home (a worn t-shirt, familiar blanket)
• Provide a schedule of typical eating and napping times

During transition:

• Expect some routine disruption as baby adjusts
• Know that skilled infant teachers are experienced with many babies
• Ask for daily reports with specifics (ounces consumed, nap lengths)

What helps:

• Consistent drop-off person and time
• Primary caregiver assignment (many infant rooms do this)
• Frequent communication with teachers

Toddlers (1-2 Years)

Toddlers often have the hardest transitions due to:

• Strong attachment but limited language
• Developing independence ("I do it!")
• Difficulty understanding time ("after nap" is abstract)

Strategies that work:

• Very short, consistent goodbyes
• Comfort objects from home
• Photos of family in their cubby
• Consistent language: "Mommy always comes back"

Expect:

• Protest at drop-off (normal for 2-4 weeks)
• Clinging to a comfort item
• Acting out at home (they feel safe releasing emotions with you)

Preschoolers (3-4 Years)

Preschoolers understand more, which is both helpful and challenging:

Advantages:

• Can talk about feelings
• Understand concepts like "after nap"
• Can be genuinely excited about activities and friends

Challenges:

• May ask difficult questions ("Why do you have to go?")
• Can articulate specific fears
• Might attempt negotiations

Strategies:

• Use books and role-play
• Answer questions honestly but simply
• Create special goodbye rituals
• Let them have some control (choose what to wear, which book to bring)

Tips for a Smoother Transition

Establish Morning Rituals

Create a consistent morning routine that feels predictable:

Sample morning schedule:

• 6:30 — Wake up, cuddles in bed
• 6:45 — Breakfast together
• 7:15 — Get dressed, brush teeth
• 7:30 — Pack bag together, put on shoes
• 7:45 — Drive to daycare
• 8:00 — Arrive, 10-minute drop-off routine

The predictability reduces anxiety. Children thrive when they know what comes next.

Create Goodbye Rituals

A special goodbye ritual provides comfort through repetition:

Ideas:

• A special handshake or secret knock
• "I'll give you three kisses—one for each hour until snack"
• A small object to keep in their pocket ("When you miss me, squeeze this")
• A song you sing together
• Blowing kisses through the window

Keep it brief (under 2 minutes) but meaningful.

Build Connection at Home

The transition is easier when home feels secure and connected:

• Quality time before daycare: Even 10 minutes of undivided attention
• Reconnection after pickup: Full presence, no phones
• Evening rituals: Consistent bedtime routines
• Weekend connection: Special one-on-one time

Communicate Effectively with Teachers

Build a partnership with your child's caregivers:

Share:

• How your child slept the night before
• Any changes at home (new sibling, travel, disrupted routine)
• Strategies that work for comfort
• Developmental updates

Ask:

• Specific questions about the day
• How drop-off went after you left
• What activities your child enjoyed
• Any concerns or observations

Frequency: Brief daily check-ins at pickup; longer conversations weekly or as needed.

Managing Parent Emotions

It's Okay to Feel Sad

The first drop-off is hard for parents. Common feelings include:

• Guilt ("Should I be home with them?")
• Sadness ("I'm missing out")
• Anxiety ("Are they okay?")
• Relief ("I need this for my work/sanity")
• Conflict ("I feel guilty for feeling relieved")

All of these feelings are valid. Adjusting to shared care is an emotional process.

Self-Care Strategies

On the first day:

• Plan something for after drop-off (work task, coffee date, exercise)
• Don't sit in the parking lot crying (leave the premises)
• Request a photo or update from daycare mid-morning
• Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up

Ongoing:

• Connect with other parents going through this
• Journal about your feelings
• Remind yourself why you made this choice
• Celebrate small wins (a happy drop-off, a good report)

When to Reach Out for Support

Consider talking to a therapist or counselor if:

• Anxiety is overwhelming your daily functioning
• Guilt feels debilitating rather than manageable
• You're having intrusive thoughts about your child's safety
• Sadness persists for weeks without improvement

Postpartum depression and anxiety can intensify during transitions. There's no shame in getting support.

Red Flags: When to Be Concerned

Some adjustment difficulties are normal. But contact your daycare or pediatrician if:

Concerning Signs in Your Child

• Crying continues all day (not just at drop-off) after 3+ weeks
• Developing physical symptoms (stomachaches, headaches, regression)
• Signs of fear about specific staff members
• Severe behavioral changes (aggression, withdrawal)
• Refusing food or sleep consistently

Concerning Signs at the Daycare

• Teachers seem dismissive of your concerns
• Your child's needs aren't being communicated back to you
• You observe concerning interactions
• Staff turnover is sudden or unexplained

Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, investigate further.

What Teachers Wish Parents Knew

Insights from daycare professionals:

1. We've done this many times — Trust that we know how to comfort your child.

2. Short goodbyes really do work — Lingering makes it harder for everyone.

3. Your child is usually fine within minutes — The crying stops much faster than you think.

4. We care about your child — We chose this profession because we love children.

5. Communication helps — Tell us what's going on at home; it helps us understand behavior.

6. Consistency matters — Same drop-off time and routine every day speeds adjustment.

7. It gets so much better — The first week is hardest. By week four, most children love it here.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long will my child cry at drop-off?

Most children cry for 2-4 weeks at drop-off, with crying decreasing in duration and intensity each week. Some adjust in days; others need a full month. If intense crying continues beyond 4-6 weeks, consult with teachers.

Should I start part-time or full-time?

If possible, starting part-time (2-3 days) for the first 1-2 weeks can ease the transition. However, many children do fine starting full-time if that's what your schedule requires.

What if my child is sick the first week?

Daycare illness is common, especially initially. Follow your daycare's sick policy. A brief illness doesn't reset the adjustment clock—your child will remember their progress.

Can I call to check on my child during the day?

Yes! Most daycares welcome calls. Many also offer apps with photos and updates. Don't hesitate to reach out for reassurance, especially in the first few days.

What if I'm crying too?

That's completely normal. Many parents cry on the first day (and second, and third). Don't cry in front of your child if you can help it—save it for the car or a private moment. Your feelings are valid.

When will it get easier?

For most families, the hardest part is the first 1-2 weeks. By week 3-4, you'll likely see significant improvement. By the second month, daycare will feel like a normal part of life.

It Gets Better: Looking Forward

Within a few weeks, most families experience:

• Happy drop-offs — Children walking in eagerly, waving goodbye
• New friendships — Your child talking about friends by name
• Engaged learning — Excitement about activities, songs, and projects
• Smooth routines — Drop-off and pickup becoming seamless
• Parent confidence — Trust in your choice and your child's caregivers

The hardest part is the beginning. Trust the process, trust your choice, and know that this adjustment period—while difficult—is temporary.

---

Need help finding the right daycare? Use our daycare directory to search licensed facilities near you, or read our guide on how to choose the right daycare.