Nanny Share Guide: How to Split Childcare Costs with Another Family

A nanny share offers the best of both worlds: the personalized attention of in-home care with significant cost savings. By splitting a nanny's time between two families, both get quality care at a fraction of the solo nanny cost. Here's everything you need to know about making a nanny share work.

What Is a Nanny Share?

A nanny share is an arrangement where two (occasionally three) families share one nanny who cares for children from both families simultaneously.

How It Works

| Arrangement | Description | |-------------|-------------| | Same-location share | All children at one home (or rotating) | | Split-location share | Nanny goes to each home on different days | | Hybrid share | Mix of together and separate time |

Typical Structure

Standard Same-Location Share:

• Nanny cares for 2-4 children at once
• All children at one house (or alternating)
• Both families split costs and responsibilities
• Nanny receives higher hourly rate than solo position

The Benefits of Nanny Shares

For Families

| Benefit | Details | |---------|---------| | Cost savings | 30-40% less than solo nanny per family | | Socialization | Built-in playmate for your child | | Flexibility | More customizable than daycare | | Sick policy | Often more lenient than centers | | Individualized care | Better ratio than daycare | | Convenience | Care in your home (or nearby) |

For Children

• One-on-one or small group attention
• Social interaction with peer(s)
• Familiar home environment
• Consistent caregiver relationship
• Flexible schedule

For Nannies

• Higher total compensation
• Manageable group size
• Variety in day
• Professional challenge
• Multiple family relationships

Cost Breakdown: How Nanny Shares Save Money

Sample Cost Comparison

| Arrangement | Hourly Rate | Weekly (50 hrs) | Annual | |-------------|-------------|-----------------|--------| | Solo Nanny | $22/hour | $1,100 | $57,200 | | Nanny Share (each family) | $15/hour | $750 | $39,000 | | Daycare (infant) | N/A | $400 | $20,800 |

Share Savings: Each family saves ~$18,000/year vs. solo nanny

How Nanny Share Rates Work

Nannies in shares typically receive:

• Per-family rate: Each family pays $12-18/hour (varies by market)
• Total rate: Nanny earns $24-36/hour total (more than solo rate)
• Example: Each family pays $15/hour → Nanny earns $30/hour

Additional Costs to Split

| Expense | How to Split | |---------|--------------| | Employer taxes | Proportional to hours/pay | | Payroll service | 50/50 or proportional | | Nanny's gas/mileage | Based on whose home | | Activities/outings | 50/50 or by child | | Food/supplies | Usually each provides own | | Backup care | Share or each arrange own |

Finding Your Share Family

Where to Look

| Source | Pros | Cons | |--------|------|------| | Care.com/Sittercity | Built-in share matching | Subscription fee | | Local Facebook groups | Free, local families | Varies by area | | Neighborhood apps (Nextdoor) | Hyperlocal | Limited reach | | Parent groups | Known community | Small pool | | Your current daycare | Similar values | Transition together | | Friends of friends | Some vetting done | May affect friendships |

What to Look for in a Share Family

Essential Compatibility:

• Similar parenting philosophies
• Children within 1-2 years of age
• Compatible schedules (same hours/days needed)
• Geographic proximity (homes close together)
• Similar expectations for nanny

Important Compatibility:

• Discipline approaches
• Screen time views
• Food/diet preferences
• Activity preferences
• Communication styles

Questions to Ask Potential Share Families

About Logistics:

• What hours do you need care?
• Where would care primarily happen?
• What's your backup plan when the nanny is sick?
• How long do you anticipate needing care?

About Parenting:

• How do you handle discipline?
• What's your approach to screen time?
• Any food restrictions or preferences?
• What activities do you want for your child?

About Partnership:

• How do you prefer to communicate?
• How should we handle disagreements?
• What are your expectations for the nanny?
• Are you comfortable with a formal written agreement?

Finding and Hiring the Nanny

Hiring Together

Both families should participate in:

1. Job posting: Agree on requirements and description
2. Resume review: Screen candidates together
3. Interviews: Both families present
4. Trial day: Observe with all children
5. Decision: Mutual agreement required
6. Contract: Both families sign

What to Look for in a Share Nanny

| Quality | Why It Matters | |---------|----------------| | Multiple child experience | Can handle group dynamics | | Flexibility | Navigates two families' needs | | Communication skills | Keeps everyone informed | | Creativity | Engages different ages/interests | | Organizational skills | Manages logistics smoothly | | Professional mindset | Treats it as a real job |

Interview Questions for Share Nannies

• Have you worked in a nanny share before?
• How do you handle different parenting styles?
• What if the children are at different developmental stages?
• How do you manage conflict between children?
• How would you communicate with two families?
• What challenges do you anticipate with this arrangement?

The Nanny Share Agreement

A written agreement prevents future conflicts.

Elements to Include

Employment Terms:

• Start date and expected duration
• Hours and schedule
• Location(s) of care
• Trial period terms

Compensation:

• Hourly rate (each family's portion)
• How taxes are handled
• Payment schedule and method
• Overtime policy
• Guaranteed hours

Benefits:

• Paid time off (vacation, sick, personal)
• Holidays (paid or unpaid, which ones)
• Health insurance contribution (if any)
• Professional development

Logistics:

• Primary location and rotation
• Transportation of children
• Meal responsibilities
• Activity fund
• Use of car, car seats

Policies:

• Sick policy (nanny and children)
• Snow day/emergency policy
• One child sick/one well
• Vacation coordination
• Notice period for ending
• What happens if one family leaves

Parenting Guidelines:

• Discipline approach
• Screen time limits
• Sleep and nap expectations
• Food and feeding
• Outdoor time

Sample Cost Split Formulas

| Scenario | How to Split | |----------|--------------| | Same ages, same hours | 50/50 | | Different hours (35 vs 45 hrs) | Proportional to hours | | Infant + toddler | Some pay infant family more (more work) | | Three children vs one | May weight by number of kids | | Hosting all care | Slight discount for hosting family |

Day-to-Day Logistics

Location Arrangements

| Approach | Pros | Cons | |----------|------|------| | Always at one home | Simple, consistent | Unfair burden on host | | Weekly rotation | Balanced hosting | Moving supplies weekly | | Daily rotation | Very balanced | Lots of transitions | | By the day pattern | Flexible | Requires tracking |

Hosting Considerations:

• Childproofing requirements
• Wear and tear on home
• Space for multiple children
• Napping arrangements
• Parking for nanny

Equipment and Supplies

| Item | Approach | |------|----------| | Car seats | Each family provides own (for their car) | | Strollers | Double stroller often shared expense | | High chairs/feeding | Host home provides or each brings | | Diapers/wipes | Each provides own | | Food | Each provides own child's food | | Toys | Mix of shared and personal | | Backup clothes | Each provides own |

Communication Systems

| Tool | Use | |------|-----| | Shared app (Huckleberry, etc.) | Daily logs, schedules | | Group text | Quick updates, logistics | | Weekly email | Bigger topics, planning | | Regular meetings | Quarterly check-ins | | Nanny log | Written daily summary |

Handling Common Challenges

When One Child Is Sick

Options:

1. Sick child stays home: Other family gets solo care day
2. Split the children: Each child at own home
3. Both stay home: Neither family gets care
4. Nanny decides comfort level: For mild illness

Best Practice:

• Define "too sick for share" in agreement
• Have backup plans for both families
• Be fair about who misses work
• Don't pressure nanny to accept sick child

When One Family's Schedule Changes

Short-Term Change:

• Give as much notice as possible
• Still pay nanny for guaranteed hours
• Other family may get "bonus" solo time

Permanent Change:

• Discuss impact on share viability
• May need to find new share family
• Give adequate notice per agreement
• Consider if share can be restructured

Disagreements Between Families

Common Conflicts:

• Parenting differences
• Schedule flexibility
• Cost splitting
• Nanny management
• Child behavior

Resolution Steps:

1. Address early, before resentment builds
2. Discuss without nanny present (unless about nanny)
3. Focus on children's wellbeing
4. Find compromise, not winner
5. Revise agreement if needed
6. Consider mediator for big issues

When One Family Wants to Leave

Exit Protocol:

• Follow notice period in agreement
• Help find replacement family if possible
• Settle all outstanding costs
• Transition nanny relationship carefully
• Maintain goodwill for children's sake

Legal and Tax Considerations

Employment Status

In a nanny share, the nanny is typically an employee of BOTH families.

| Responsibility | Both Families Must | |----------------|-------------------| | Employer ID | Each get own EIN (or use SSN) | | Payroll taxes | Pay Social Security, Medicare, etc. | | Unemployment tax | State and federal | | Workers comp | Required in most states | | W-2 | Each family issues for their portion |

Simplifying Payroll

Options:

1. Payroll service: Use a nanny payroll company (easiest)
2. One family handles all: Other reimburses (coordinate carefully)
3. Separate everything: Each family manages independently

Recommended Payroll Services:

• HomePay
• SurePayroll
• Poppins Payroll
• GTM Payroll Services

Insurance Considerations

| Insurance Type | Considerations | |----------------|----------------| | Homeowner's/Renter's | May not cover employee injury—check | | Workers' Compensation | Required in many states for household employees | | Umbrella policy | Extra liability protection | | Auto insurance | If nanny drives, verify coverage |

Making the Share Successful Long-Term

Regular Check-Ins

| Frequency | Focus | |-----------|-------| | Daily | Quick nanny handoff, any issues | | Weekly | Bigger logistics, upcoming needs | | Monthly | Family meeting (with or without nanny) | | Quarterly | Formal review, agreement updates | | Annually | Raise discussion, future planning |

Supporting Your Nanny

Nanny shares are harder than solo positions:

• More children to manage
• Two sets of parents to please
• Two communication channels
• Balancing different needs

Show appreciation through:

• Clear, aligned communication
• Competitive compensation
• Genuine gratitude
• Professional treatment
• Respecting their expertise

Knowing When It's Not Working

Signs the share should end:

• Ongoing conflict between families
• Children consistently unhappy
• Nanny expressing frustration
• Values too misaligned
• Logistics causing constant stress

Graceful ending:

• Honor agreement terms
• Communicate honestly but kindly
• Prioritize children's transition
• Help nanny find new position if needed

Frequently Asked Questions

How do we handle it when one family wants to pay the nanny more?

This can create issues. Options: both agree to match higher rate, accept different rates (nanny may favor higher-paying family), or the generous family provides extras instead of higher hourly (bonus, gifts). Transparency with the nanny is essential—hidden inequity breeds problems.

What happens during each family's vacation weeks?

Define this in your agreement. Common approaches: nanny gets paid vacation when both are off, nanny works for present family at reduced rate (just their normal share rate), or nanny takes unpaid time. Some families coordinate vacation weeks to simplify.

Can we have a nanny share with different schedules?

Yes, but it's more complex. If Family A needs 8am-3pm and Family B needs 10am-6pm, the share only overlaps 10am-3pm. You might: have nanny work staggered for additional pay, share only during overlap hours, or create a split-location arrangement.

How do we handle it if one child is significantly more difficult?

This should be discussed openly. Options: adjust pay split slightly, ensure nanny has strategies/support, discuss whether share is right fit for that child. Don't expect nanny to manage disproportionate difficulty at same pay without acknowledging it.

What if the nanny prefers one family or child?

A professional nanny shouldn't show favoritism, but it can happen. Address it directly with the nanny. Ensure you're not inadvertently causing it (one family more engaged, better communication). If it persists and affects care, it may be grounds for reconsidering the arrangement.

How do we transition out of a nanny share to preschool?

Start planning 3-6 months ahead. Options: one family leaves for preschool while other finds new share family, both transition together, remaining family keeps nanny solo temporarily. Give nanny maximum notice and help with job search if ending employment.

Should we include the nanny in family meetings?

Sometimes. Include nanny for: daily care policies, schedule planning, behavioral strategies, professional development. Exclude nanny for: salary negotiations, performance concerns, family-to-family conflicts. Always have private channels for each family with nanny.

What if we become close friends with the other family?

Great! But keep professional boundaries for the arrangement. Have some conversations as "business partners" separate from friendship. Address issues professionally even if it feels awkward. Don't let friendship prevent necessary conversations about the share.

Can we do a three-family nanny share?

Possible but significantly more complex. Challenges: more children at once, more schedules to coordinate, more relationships to manage, more conflict potential. If attempted: keep exceptional communication, accept higher nanny pay for complexity, and have clear agreements.

How do we handle the nanny's relationship with each family?

Each family should have direct communication with the nanny about their own child. Use shared communication for logistics and shared policies. Avoid triangulating (going through other family instead of directly to nanny). Respect the nanny's relationship with each family as somewhat independent.

The Bottom Line

Nanny shares offer a compelling middle ground: more affordable than a solo nanny, more personalized than daycare. But they require more work—finding the right partner family, negotiating agreements, and maintaining ongoing communication.

Keys to success:

• Choose your share family carefully—compatibility matters enormously
• Put everything in writing—agreements prevent conflicts
• Communicate constantly—no surprises, no assumptions
• Treat the nanny professionally—employment laws apply
• Stay flexible—adjustments will be needed
• Address issues early—small problems become big ones

With the right family partner and thoughtful setup, a nanny share can provide wonderful care for your child while saving thousands of dollars annually.